misery?

Life never seem to pause, break, slow down for me... I need to rest.

dont listen to me RANT.

this is the only way i pur my feelings out.

Holidays? no, i don't think so... I had insomnia, SERIOUS Family trouble and i so much work...

What have i done?What? Sorry, but filial piety no longer exists  in me. How can they understand when all they do is talk , lecture, scold, beat and not even listen, i tried to speak, but what do they do? shut me up! And they claim they understand what is going on in my life,all the verbal abuse from her, treating me like a cheap slut and they want me to treat her like a grandmother, not an enemy. Why do I have to be the one? Because I am a GIRL.my useless mother, never failed to aggravate the whole situation, because nobody ever understand me, they only know how to blame me, all thesee years, i was blamed for everything... BUT HEY! I AM THE VICTIM HERE. I... can't go on. I wished i could be brought to a girls home or some place where they will keep me away from THEM. I am better off alone. 

I'm so happy to be back in school. :D 

to hazel ang!

TO HAZEL ANG !
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!
A THOUSAND AND ONE APOLOGIES FOR ONLY POSTING TODAY...
Dear Bimbo, YOU ARE FINALLY 15! i won't ask you to grow up and be mature... or anything like that, because I want you to be who you are! & always as crazy because I LIKE IT! [just like me] CRAZY....
Thank you for being crazy with me all the time...
Thank you for spending your Christmas with me...
Thank you for being at the prefect's chalet, making yucky chocolate...and celebrating my Birthday... sabo-ing me.
Thank you for FORCING me to watch twilight with you and zeeyee[the pig]
Thank you for bringing me to some dracula place to eat...
Thank you for being such a wonderful JUNIOR.
Thank you , & and HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

NOW, don't get angry that this is late... I have no time to come and blog and because i don't really like to blog alot... ;D [i know you're jealous cause i wished wei liang and william...] HAHAHAHA!but this font is bigger!

DREAM- priscilla ahn

was a little girl alone in my little world who dreamed of a little home for me.
I played pretend between the trees, and fed my houseguests bark and leaves, and laughed in my pretty bed of green.

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest swing.
I had a dream.

Long walks in the dark through woods grown behind the park, I asked God who I'm supposed to be.
The stars smiled down on me, God answered in silent reverie. I said a prayer and fell asleep.

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest tree.
I had a dream.

Now I'm old and feeling grey. I don't know what's left to say about this life I'm willing to leave.
I lived it full and I lived it well, there's many tales I've lived to tell. I'm ready now, I'm ready now, I'm ready now to fly from the highest wing.

I had a dream

are you there?

Today, I realised, why have i believed in god all these years? I wonder, how can i always say: 'god help me!' when i have never ever seen him, and his existence is not proven...

I have never ever found someone to really confide into, I want help. I want a pair of ears to really listen, but no... I find that trusting is too hard... i can't share my problems as easily as i thought i would... no... It is so tormenting to try to cry it out, but not show it, just store all these hatred, sorrow, angst inside me. Not that i appear to be a very sad person, it is just a false front, you see me laugh, smile, play... but, it's a tough war inside...why must my life seem more miserable than some? i am not the most miserable on earth, but i am feeling so miserable... I want to be happy inside not just the outside.
Why must i have people to come and mess up my life...Please stop messing my life up... please, stop all these prejudices. i really want to be a boy.Please, treat me like your daugther, please be the grandmother i've always read about in stories, please UNDERSTAND ME.Please, be fair. Please, stop messing up my life. give me my space...just leave me alone, let me cry alone.

but,
Please, God, save me... take all these miseries away... It's just so hard to be myself.[if only God will take these miseries away]
when i grow up, i want to leave these miseries. I wanto to leave them where they belong, and i will find a place where i belong... ;D