i don't like!

Seriously, I do know that I'm a vice-head prefect in school. yes i do. and so much for leadership responsibility. I really miss being an ordinary student, free from all these leadership responsibilities, and be free to be who I really am, what i want to do, or say.

I do not like to be pressurized or put into a dilemma by just using my leadership role to suppress me. I mean, come on right? I'm a human too.

'' I mean seriously, as a leader i would expect you to...''
Whatever! Stop using this against me.

everyday, all the time, anytime.

I doubt my own capabilities... i do.

Smile& my worries will disappear ;D i'llkeepsmiling!

You Are a Mediator

You understand people well and are a natural born therapist. A peacemaker, people always seem to get along when you are around. You tend to be a father or mother figure to friends, even to those older than you. You enjoy your role, and you find that you are close to many people. Your strength: Your devotion Your weakness: Reliance on others for happiness Your power color: Lilac Your power symbol: Heart Your power month: June

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Your Birth Month is November

Tolerant and inspirational, you are wise beyond your years. You are universally sympathetic and a great humanitarian. Your soul reflects: Compassion, friendship, and secret love Your gemstone: Citrine Your flower: Chrysanthemum Your colors: Dark blue, red, and yellow

What Does Your Birth Month Mean?

yumm.

YUMM YUMM. had a satisfying prata meal.     =)

i did not sleep at all last night. i couldn't, all thanks to Gloria Jeans Coffee.

stayed up practically all night, except for some eye shut around 2-3 am.

sat up all night and thought about the recent happenings...

felt upset, felt happy.

finally went to school... for OGL stuff. 

spent the afternoon with Gauri at Parkway Parade.

went to borders, got my book. TRUST NO ONE. 

can't stand not having a book around with me, i feel so weird, right after reading THE GIFT by cecelia ahern, not too bad.

p.s. IDIOTIC WILLIAM, I've got the TRIUMPH CARD.

 whatever everybody has to say about chemistry.

p.s.s ELIZA, what was the joke?

p.s.s.s. I know secrets!

she has something to say.

seriously, i dun mind being insulted, compared to my sister or anything.
after all, I've been living with this for so many years.

aiyoyo, Ur sister so pretty.
-person who says this will turn to look at me
aiya, you not bad also la.

all these comments, so typical all the time. i got immuned.

excuse me, i do not care if I'm pretty or not. i do not care if I'm tall or not. i do not.
but as my mother you should not do this. I'm your daughter too! I know I'm not pretty enough to be your daughter. i know.
but you do not have to insult me.
- you think you very pretty ah?
it do affect me. why did you have to ask such a question? are you fulfilling your duty as a mother to insult your own daughter. After all, is looks so important to you? why?

all these years, i can still clearly remember what happened.
what happened at the party.
mom to friend : hello, this is my daughter[younger sis]
friend: oh ya, pretty like you, sure can tell.
mom to friend:this is also my daughter[ me]
friend: you sure this is your daughter ? don't look like you leh. [ i'm sure you know what she meant]
mom begins laughing.

seriously, i got so used to all these, very used to. i know i'm not pretty enough to be your daughter. i know... but all these passer-by remarks, you can stilll laugh at them and joke about it.
have you ever thought about defending me? no. because its a praise to you and your daughter.

i know that i'm ugly.[ talk about self- confidence]

your son is a frikkin ah beng and you still defend him. I worked so hard, behaved myself, but i never got praised, but you will make use of this to show-off...my daugther did well in her exams, she's a vice-head, but behind, you nvr praise me to me... you scold me day and night for not being a fantastic sister to your precious son and daughter.

and i know i'm not a fantastic grand daughter.
stop insulting me. stop making yourself sound likee i've been bullying you. you tell the whole world how bad a grand daughter i've been. but do you know all these insults you've been throwing me? you tell the whole world I talk on the phone with my 'boyfriend' you tell everyone i go out all day long with my ' boyfriend' but what are these? all crap. i dun even talk on the phone. not unless it's cristal. and i go out with so many people. why must you always make me sound so cheap. I've been living with this ok. you tell my father, you tell my aunties, you tell the whole world. you make my father scold me... I know you are going to ask him to throw me out. so, pls do... i cant stay a second longer...

free me from this misery.

when i went to OBS this march, i packed my bags, and you asked, why she pack bags? running away from home? run away with man is it?

you know what? although it was not said in chinese nor english, i understood...

continue to put me down. work harder women.[ my mother and paternal granmother]
i'll stay strong.

bored .

YEAH, its like 2 more days before i can finally meet the SMART SALLEHS again. to know more abt everybody, read haziqah's blog! Reading haziqah'a blog make me feel like crying, because i really really miss them. I don't expect everyone or anyone to really read the previous post because it's just for my memory sake, i dont want to forget this trip ever and while it's still in my mind, i shall have it written...
BTW:
-eliza read the whole post. HAHAHAH.
-and yes, its a really long post.
-- syarifah aqilah, i did update MORE.
- and yes haziqah, twin brother, cos i refuse to acknowledge him as elder when he is 3 days younger and he refuse to acknowledge me as elder as i'm immature... get it?
- AND YES GAURI's a BOAR! a wild boar... HAHAHA. =p

i miss OBS!
HAZIQAH, i swear i'll never forget you. NEVER. i'll never forget anyone...

OBS Sabah

I have a sudden urge to talk about my days in Sabah.

day1.
tiring trip there. i just cant concentrate or be quiet, i mean that's me right?
I was not very social, just stuck around with haziqah, Kim and Ziying all day.
Tried reading in the bus to senai airport, half successful... disturbed by poker card people. then started being noisy with haziqah.
then reached the ''oh-so beautiful- airport''
had the''oh-so-tasty marry brown''
socializing began until Mr. Daniel Tay made me talk to the MGS girls, cos he thought i didn't like them when we had to check in together,but in order to prove him wrong, i went up to say hi! which was kinda stupid, because i think they thought i was stupid. & bt. Merah's t'cher, ms. Eng said hi as she thought i was very noisy i suppose... and introduced me to her student, zhixiong a.k.a bear as i got to know him better during the 12 days. [marcus look alike]
air-plane ride, wow, hot steward i swear. me and haziqah were crazy! hahaha, no offence but he is HOT. [to me at least]
reached sabah late at night. had dinner, sorted groups,
then i interacted by saying hi to people, they asked for my name, so a guy went like HI CHERYL! and i went , ''ok, hi to whoever he is.'' which became a big thing because i did not noe vijay's name then... then get ready to sleep. cant sleep lah! it was so dark! then they went like,opening eyes is like closing eyes, wad the hell. so, it was a sleepless night for me as i was very scared of the dark.

day2.
woke up for PT. GRR!. but it was a jog by the beach, so i was ok with it... then after that we had a group change. haziqah changed with one of the MGS girl in my group as the MGS girls wanted to be together. so yah... my group consist of, Haziqah, Elan,Aaron.chun keong, marcus, sherman,vijay,syazleena, Eliza,Wah Long and ME.
with my fantastic instructors, Rosli and cath. we had team bonding games which was quite fun i wld say... OH MY BALL! HAHA. one of our grp jokes. learned to pitch tent, make fire pit and collect fire wood.
then we went for a trek up a nearby hill.already killing me... my group was kind of blur... then came back and prepared for our jungle expedition... OMYOMY. group 3 will be with group 4. Kinabalu and Mat Salleh.
Group 1 and 2 seperated... like aiyoyo... kim was seperated from us... another almost sleepless night as my mind wandered arnd wildly...

day3-5
yah this is it man... the jungle expedition. one of the toughest yet.dun think of it as the ubin one. cos after this, that will just be a walk in the park... Big Backpack checked, tongkat checked, screams[for leeches] checked.i wonder what else i need... then we set out in a van... i nvr want to get down... was the sweeper for the day. YEAH.walked behind. i didn't wanna feel the pressure of the front. then we walk and walk.... and i enjoyed myself... cos i was talking singing and entertaining myself. making weird remarks to myself... when i fall, i just stood back up and said ''i'm okay, not dead yet.'' had packed lunch by river. refilled jerry cans. put in aquatabs, the water tastes like swimming pool water... PUI. that was roughly how our milo tasted too...collecting water was so damn frikkin difficult, fell...with jerry cans in my hand. thanks sherman for your help...slept squashed in the tent that night. 2nd day, we had a few sick ppl,became navigator that day. sucks sia urgh! was blur lah! and my map was badly torn.... was terribly worried about leech bites...GAH! then reach campsite,wat a Fking campsite, pissed me off badly... termites nest, ant's nest... spiders. wadeva.. LEECHES. allowed to bath in river. WEE! when we were bathing, upstream, our dear boys were washing pots and pans, so where do the detergent water go??! idiots right!? haha. bathed and went back up to prepare dinner... started raining, didn't sleep, so gossiped... with marcus, aaron[he listened to the mjr gossips]
haziqah and eliza. haha.[andrina ah andrina ,eat tofu ah...] then fell asleep. its called sentry duty. get it? bacame leader the next morning, as we embark on a short trip to the end of our journey! i'm so glad. then we finally reach the end... it was like HEAVEN. then we walked on as grp3 got the van... then we took photo with ziying, talked to her then our group walked. i was fine with the walking lah... but it was hot and sunny. then halfway, we got the van!

day5 extended to 6.
finally reached our village home. tere were lots of children...so adorable! and animals, which puts of the other girls in my grp... syaz was okay with the cat... haha. nvm, then i went to take a bath. the boys are dumb! a small spider and they make it sound so horrible... haha.as the leader of the day, i helped out much, i prepared lunch, then helped out with dinner. i swear the boys are great cooks man! especially VIJAY!.. my god, i miss his chicken wings. and i had lots of fun entertaining the children. now i miss them... i learn to converse with them in malay... then we had to prepare for cultural night. yup, it was like a night-walk to the other village house... OH GOD. was quite afraid...met with ziying! yep, their hse was okay lah, not like ours, ours was more homely... then we interact with the other grp mates, then another grp of students came to interact with us, cultural exchange ya know... so they performed and we played, friendship dance... then there was a finale? god, yuck to the worms man. or rather grubs... grace[a mgs girl ate one] aaron. vijay and elan ate it too...yuck much? apparently so... then a weird guy whacked me in my arm in a funny motion and asked me to eat the worm. i asked him' why the hell you hitting me?' then he went 'cos you not from my grp mah' that guy was, apparently, BENEDICT.night over, back village home, slept peacefully.
woke up, prepared breakfast for them... cooked like 15- 16 packets of maggi mee... yup. maggi mee and me...
returned back to obsabah for mountain expedition briefing and preparation... played giants ladder. i'm sorry but i was really mad, i was laughing untill vijay almost killd me... lost 12 bucks to sherman!. i remembered we had a briefing, thats all i guess. we had review sessions where ppl said that, no cheryl no life in grp.. woo! i'm supposed to be proud right?! i think we shared our dirty jokes this day...

day 7
went to halleluyah retreat centre for the day, as we took a rather long ride there, went shoppingon the way there for gifts, bought shirts went arnd playing, Keith and sherman [dunman high boys]and i bought keychains which cost 4 ringgitt and somebody else bought it for 3... GRR! hahaha, wadeva lah...the place was nice, spent time in swing, took photos.. played like crazy girls... bullied aaron as benedict and i went arnd catching moths to scare aaron. the boys all think i'm dirty cos i told them some dirty joke i heard from campteen and hongwei... then they were like, you lok so innocent, inside is like DIRTY. aiyoyo.SHERMAN LAH! he started it. went toprepare dinner, in charge of the onions. yep. haha. didn't really cry... the rest did... HAHAHA. after that we sat round sharing jokes. just jokes.... slept very comfortably...

day8
yeah, finally the day we embaark on our journey to the top. haha. woke up, went to find the guys took our food. and as our grp, MAT SALLEH was in charge of b'fast, had to wake up earlier... sobs.while in the kitchen i found out benedict was 3 days younger than me. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.[but, saggitarians are COOL] i personally cooked 30 packets of maggi. which is mad cos i hate maggi now.. after all the maggi we have had for the jungle trek and homestay. BHLEX!
after b'fast, sat on a bus to bring us to our starting point. had a deja'vu in the bus with ziying...
climb up was bad, my foot seemed to lost its life.. was quite clumsy my way up. finally after a tideous climb, 6 km upwards... we reached laban rata guest house for a rest and buffet dinner. WEEH! haha. had a tiff with the mat salleh boys...cos they were laughing at me... then i just said''i'm not talking to mat salleh anymore, except haziqah'' out of a little anger. then i turned away, benedict started to talk to me, he said that i was just stubborn i definitely will start talking to them after awhile, so they bet i will speak to them before tml b'fast. the n i just refuse to give in to their bets, so we just kept joking arnd and then andy [andy is our singapore instructor that followed us to obsabah]wanted me to play games with mat salleh and the whole team was disturbing me, probing me to talk to them... i went to sit with the instructors... then rosli! that rosli had to disturb me... told johnny also.. untill i have no peace... and so they begin. =.=FINALLY, after being teased and probed i finally talked to them, my first words were, WAH LONG. i cant rmb why i called him... continued after dinner to our hut for rest... slept at 7.30 pm

day 9
woke up at 1.30 am. woo hoo! cool right? drank a cup of cereal.. then soon around 2.30 we got ready to scale up to the SUMMIT! yeahhe... tiring sia, and very dark, every step needs to be taken with care. when we were holding on to the rope, i felt very scared, very very very... it was like walking up the wall... and you see nothing but the rocks at your feel and the wet rope we had to hold on to... when we finally reach our entrance for our last part of our journey,[i went to the toilet, i asked haziqah to help me hold water bottle and she accidentally passed it to someone else to hold it for me thinking he was sherman] i thought things will be way easier, but no! it was tougher... on my way up, the tought of giving up came to my mind... i was struggling with haziqah...i was helped up by the guides. they gave us nicknames . Haziqah's was Maziqah and mine's Asparagus.weird much. then after being helped up halfway. i told myself i cannot miss this sunrise... that's why i woke up early... so i slowly paced myself all the way in front, leaving the rest behind and tried to catch up.. i was alone for a little while and i was scared... sallehan went down as he had AMS, so i thought there might be ppl in front.. so i continued my lone scale...until finally, i heard andy's voice.. then i realised benedict, ziying and andy were there in front of me, they were waiting for me..., they know i was there cos of my red jacket. ziying was not feeling well so benedict and andy were there to help her. i joined them to climb up.finally, with help from benedict... ziying and i managed our way up! WEE! haha. i caught the most beautiful sunrise ever in my life. i was cold but i didnt care... HAHAHA.it was damn cool man, glad to say, maziqah made it! finally, we had to go back down. went down with chun kheong, aaron and benedict. actually there were more people... like emirah, fitri and etc. it was very scary going down. very steep... and i was so scared i will fall [ like elan's dream- tell u ltr] reached the layang layang hut, met with sallehan, asked if he wanted to go down with us, but it was better if he followed emirah and fitri... so, we went off first... another km or so downwards... oh crap... then we met with an english man, who was a singapore PR. we talked to him and soon beacme friends. halfway, mr chun kheong, our so called superman sped up and left us behind... so we finally reached our hut. as we did not have the key, we decided to just sit arnd and wait, johnny was there cos he was not feeling well. so, we sat around to play, and get disturbed.=.= when they finally arrived, we were all told to hurry pack up and leave to laban ratan guesthouse for b'fast. A lot of them not feeling well... like sherman, haziqah, eliza... they were scary alright... i thought coming down wld be easier... then we had b'fast.... haziqah was feeling better... but sherman wasn't gtting better, so andy got me to take porridge for sherman. which he didn't eat alot... then i stood behind to take care of sherman, he shared haziqah;s water bottle, so i took it or them... haziqah in front of me, sherman behind... and when rosli's around, i nvr get peace... his eyebrow, and his qns... tsk tsk tsk =.= sherman was like an ulti merlion... hahaha. and elan the loser was so so so so slow. GRR! [i always quarrel with him - not serious quarrels...] and he was whining so badly like a girl, as we cldnt stand it anymore, we deided to go first, so, sherman, haziqah and i decided to go first with permission from rosli as sherman wanted to descend faster. yep, so we chiong to the front, they took a long time... then for the rest of the journey, we stayed in front, took rest at huts and climbed the dunno how many million steps to finally get down and reach the bus... from there, we changed bus. in this bus, i had to take my late lunch, as it was rather shaky, i cldnt find the appetie to eat, and i was cold, so i fell asleep for awhile. then haziqah suddenly went, cheryl, its coming out. then i got shocked and i stood up, ''i need plastic bag!'' then, as i was getting plastic bags for her, grace needed one too... and so did eliza and syazleena... OH GOD... then i had to stay awake to take care of them as i attended to them, i was half dozing off, tired and hungry and cold... finally, we reached OBSABAH after a long long long time... went to have dinner, got hot drink for my three patients and went to get food for them. went to take a bath and got ready to sleep, i guess... slept soundly this time...

day 10

wake up and got ready for the sailing expedition. sailing sailing here we go...

didn't even get to sail as we were towed there.... crap right? it was due to bad weather... so we got to island, pitched tent, HAHAHAHA. i had a very funny experience pitching tent, hearing al these words from sherman's mouth... [my*toot* is thicker than that]as he comments abt the pegs,[what shit peg is this?!] and making haziqah look like a total MJ... set up kitchen and got back on boat for a short row practice... the ores were frrikkinn heavy...and, after that, mr rosli created an abandon boat drill... hahaha, all of us had to jump into the water... it was LAME. hahaha, played catching in the water...then got ready to cook dinner... [i think i had deja'vu typing this...] as i was practically useful for only picking firewood, and the very useful boys cooked. i went all out to collect firewood, collecting more than 10 rounds... after that ,i just loitered around the beach to pick shells with aaron and benedict. Then went back to help out with dinner[if anything cld be helped]

then we sat down in the dark for our sumptuous dinner... chicken was great...vege was not too bad... eggs were good too...then since we had so much leftover of firewood, we had a mini bonfoire session with the grp3 ppl... wee! so fun, we sang songs, syang kinabalu, sallehan sang a solo, we did the friendship dance[ i know they sabo me!=.=],did the hokey pokey, chachikucha, making melodies... and did doraemon team song!... oh, and haziqah did her soulja boy solo, MJ style... HAHAHA.[i know they tried to sabo me. but i was lucky, i didn't realise it only untill i think back about it...] nurul haziqah, Can i have this dance eh? so after a debrief session, which was rather sad... i headed out to the beach fro sentry duty. i decided not to sleep as i saw cockroaches around... and when i went back, everyone woke to the disgust of multiple and infinite sand fly bites... like syaz,her hands, bear, his whole FACE. and he was so angry, he cursed and swear...so we headed back to the beach instead... after awhile, aaron fell asleep, haziqah and ziying and eliza had their sec 4 talk at a corner, vj was talking to them as well... and syaz fell asleep too... leaving only benedict and me awake. then the tide was coming in, so we had to evacuate to another dry spot... we had to wake everyone to move... so, once we moved, the sec 4 girls stopped talking and slept like... aaron slept like one big pig! then i cldn't really fall asleep... but the view was nice, the moon looked so beautiful, the sky was dotted with stars and on the other side of the island, they had fireworks, cool right?! so i sat there, feeling so cold, a blue blanket wrapped around me as i finally fell asleep for 2 hours at 3 or 4 after watching the moon set...

day 11.

woke up arnd 5 plus... and caught the a beautiful sunrise... from our view, we cld see mt. K too... it was beautiful... but not as beautiful as the mt.k one... went back to help prepare b'fast... maggi again... crapp lah, then made one with onions specially for rosli... when i went to find him, he was burning bread.- not toasting, burning... HAHAHA. packed up, and we were ready to sail back. we had to row majority of the way back.... which was tiring... i was dying in my seat.. i wanted water but cldn't get any... was semi-concious at my seat. cldnt open my eyes.. wanted water badly but nobody gave me... sad right?

finally, after rowing halfway, we had to be towed back...HAHA.my favorite... just sit there doing nth... finally when we reached we did a thorough clean up. wohoo... saw kim and wished her happy birthday. the clean up was fun. then we had lunch. and we slacked around the afteroon, cant rmb what we did, it was the last night so i didn't really want to sleep. tried staying awake, sat outside with the few people who were at the beach and finally, went back in to slp... i had to embrace my fear of the dark to sleep. so i did, and slept...

day 12.

woke up early for final pt... WEE! so fun. and had solo reflection... which is really good... in 6 month time, i'll be getting my reflection back... hahaha. cant wait. then we had a final activity, rafting... then we bathed, packed up and had a so-called farewell party, and a early dinner... soon, we had to go... rosli sent us to the airport...rosli id the penguin dance...rechel and rosli teased me...=.= but ididnt say anything as i know we're abt to say gdbye to them which was sad... i admit that i did tear a little, becos i felt so sad i had to leave them ... i really missed them alot. saying goodbye is something i hate alot... alot... in the plane sat with my crap family... algae,bacteria,rubbish,trash,dirt, and i cant rmb...was it dust? nvm... who wld have thought. =.= assholes. then, we reached senai aiport...then we took a bus ride to the checkpoints. it was already late. very late. when we finally reached the obsecc, i stayed there for the night. 8 of us stayed. haziqah, ziying, kim and me. guowei,jeremy , benedict and aaron. mr tay treated us to macdonalds... ;) then at 4am, after eating, i went back to slp.

day 13.

woke up at 7. was the earliest... slacked arnd for half an hour, brushed my teeth wash my face, then jeremy woke up, guo wei woke up and so i sat outside talking to them, tried smsing gauri, but as a pig, i supposed she was still sleeping. then i did not join benedict and aaron for b'fast and headed back home with kim.. that was abt it. ;)

whew, long type!

just a few photos.

coming home!

i was talking to Mikey jackson.

thats me again! somebody's hat...

my new friend. in blue-benedict. in red- Aaron.

the red jacket. thats me ;)
I know it's BEAUTIFUL! i reached the TOP!


CULTURAL NIGHT! dancing a BIRD dance. i love the song.

crazy girls playing like crazy girls. L.O.V.E

sMArT salleh!
My hot and cool instructor.

These are photos of me from Aaron the underwear model's cam.
just bear with these few... ;)

because its aaron's camera, you see aaron arnd.

and benedict... my TWIn brother.

my photo orders jumbled.... hehehe.

back

Hello!
I'm back! yeah~
just to inform you all how it's been going : i'm FINE!
but i miss GAURI very very very very very very very very very very very much!
i shall update again once i get the photos, which will be a long time.

-there's so much to tell gauri!