Dear me.

I'm very physically & mentally tired.

after a tiring day of thinking & OGLeading the most horrendous class.

Thinking; I just begin to think bout my future, after all I'm sec 4. 

Poly? JC? I've no idea. & well, i thought even further than that...

I was thinking, if i have such grudges against my family, & people always say that family is more important than friends, i wonder, do i have to depend on this family when i grow up in the future? depend as in if something happens to me? so,i was thinking like, set up my own family? LIKE ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE. i want to be a truly independent person, i feel rather guilty that i have somehow decided that i do not want to live life obstructed by family traditions or religious beliefs, but, to be truly free from my current life, filled with traditional beliefs that woman will not succeed or that these traditions are just plain bias to the male? I want to be a free-thinker. seriously, a free thinker, somebody who thinks freely... It's not that i do not believe in god or buddha or anything, but i would like to be versatile in my thoughts and beliefs. I want to be clear about what i want in life, not what i have been taught to want. I want this to be my life. 

I want my life to be in my own hands.

p.s. I wish i can speak to someone who can understand this.

I'm Cheryl.

Cheryl Wong.