Truth

In seeking the Truth,

do not imagine it is something out there to be found.

It is not a ray of light from the heavens that hit you suddenly.

The discovery of the Truth

is the discovery that you are part of it.

It is the discovery that the Truth is everything,

including yourself.

It is the discovery that you are but an embodiment

of the Three Universal Characteristics.

You are physically and mentally impermanent.

You are existentially dissatisfied due to lack of Enlightenment.

You have no substantial self.

The more deeply you discover this,

the more in line with Truth you are,

the more enlightened you become.

& most of the time, the Truth is always bitter.

Just to say ...

Well, i know i can no longer hold this feeling inside me.
I cannot battle these emotions everyday.

I guess it was all just a misunderstanding, then i began reading blogs.. then, i get hurt, so bad. But i never wanted to believe you wouldn't trust me, cause i trusted you as my dearest friend, suddenly everything was beginning to turn cold and harsh, for us both. I didn't understand why initially, that's when i begin reading blog, i feel so upset. I didn't dare talk to any of you... especially you, i was afraid, i admit, i was a coward, i could never handle relationships well. But, i never wanted to end this one. Thinking about all the times we spent, laughing at each other's joke, the never ending laughter from us both.. it was indeed unforgettable. I'm sorry i still can't face you, as i said i was really afraid, afraid of all these awkward situations that can really hurt. every time i encounter something, you're always on my mind, ALWAYS. It's like the automatic urge to want to sms you and share all these with you, and only you. Because it's a habit, being with you has became part of my life, and i swear, without you, life has changed. i know i am greedy, but i yearn to be with you again. spending all those time with you. I miss you. goodbye.

-i hope you read this.
believe me, i believe you.

i decided to blog

This is such a nice photo.

Well, i decided i should blog. Cause, I'm BORED , actually tired, i have to wake up at 5.34 am every morning and try to steal a little sleep every morning... 5 minutes is seriously satisfying!
WHY did that stupid school shift away!? I MISS HOLIDAYS~ and, school is seriously stressing. I'm stressing over art... ITS SO HARD TO SCORE! my GOD! STRESSSS!!!!!! & everybody is ranting about o levels. o levels and more o levels~ argh! its only 12 jan. well... lessons are starting to end late now... but nvm, i never liked to come home early anyway.so.... it's a blessing.

alright, i shall go busi-fy myself with OBSabah presentation!

GOODBYE!

ALL RIGHT, 

I MISS CAROLINE FEBRIANTY TOO!

 LOVES,

CHERYL

Dear me.

I'm very physically & mentally tired.

after a tiring day of thinking & OGLeading the most horrendous class.

Thinking; I just begin to think bout my future, after all I'm sec 4. 

Poly? JC? I've no idea. & well, i thought even further than that...

I was thinking, if i have such grudges against my family, & people always say that family is more important than friends, i wonder, do i have to depend on this family when i grow up in the future? depend as in if something happens to me? so,i was thinking like, set up my own family? LIKE ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE. i want to be a truly independent person, i feel rather guilty that i have somehow decided that i do not want to live life obstructed by family traditions or religious beliefs, but, to be truly free from my current life, filled with traditional beliefs that woman will not succeed or that these traditions are just plain bias to the male? I want to be a free-thinker. seriously, a free thinker, somebody who thinks freely... It's not that i do not believe in god or buddha or anything, but i would like to be versatile in my thoughts and beliefs. I want to be clear about what i want in life, not what i have been taught to want. I want this to be my life. 

I want my life to be in my own hands.

p.s. I wish i can speak to someone who can understand this.

I'm Cheryl.

Cheryl Wong.

2009

Yay...[ i wonder if its said with much enthusiasm or not?]
well, i wonder if we should be happy that it's finally 2009 or not, because:
no.1: 2008 is gone, which tells us how fast time flies.
no.2: 2009, i'm taking my O levels.

I'm really worried.

& I've been thinking... When i grow up, do i want to live like how my life has been ruled? with all the rules set when i was born, living with all these rules all my life or live my life the way i rule it?

reminiscing about the times i had gone through in 2008, it's hard to decide if it's been a good or bad one? hmm, it was definitely an interesting one though, filled with so much excitement.

January
-OG leading 1E, with Haziqah & Kim [ & this year too.]
-In 3D. upset at first?[or maybe till now?]
February
-Debates[14 feb-official loser day]
-caroline's birthday party
March
-total business.
-preparations for school anniversary?

ok got dates mixed up arnd here!

SCH ANNIVESARY!
haha. unforgettable memories.

IFD, CAMBODIA, TEACHER's DAY, ELECTIONS, MANJUSRI IDOL, NATONAL DAY, && all the bits& pieces of the year.
where things happen, where stress overtakes me and i breakdown and cry .

& an UNFORGETTABLE SABAH trip.
where i met many new & interesting people.

& days of fun in school, time spent with Gauri, Aqilah,Cristal,Sha,Weiliang, ZeeYee, Hazel, Jun Lin, Lionel, William, Phone lay... & all the people i interact with?

hmmm... Sec 4s GONE... i'll miss KIM and Haziqah and many many seniors.

HAHAHa.
alright i'll keep these memories...
even if they are bad cause they are a part of me and how i become stronger and grow.

Thank you Gauri.
Everytime i break down or feel pset or feel stressed. U are always there for me...
When we part this year, I know i'll definitely cry...
& I want you to still be my friend... FOREVER.
then we move to perth eh? and drive our porsche.
;D

bye 2008.& happynew year peeps