she has something to say.

seriously, i dun mind being insulted, compared to my sister or anything.
after all, I've been living with this for so many years.

aiyoyo, Ur sister so pretty.
-person who says this will turn to look at me
aiya, you not bad also la.

all these comments, so typical all the time. i got immuned.

excuse me, i do not care if I'm pretty or not. i do not care if I'm tall or not. i do not.
but as my mother you should not do this. I'm your daughter too! I know I'm not pretty enough to be your daughter. i know.
but you do not have to insult me.
- you think you very pretty ah?
it do affect me. why did you have to ask such a question? are you fulfilling your duty as a mother to insult your own daughter. After all, is looks so important to you? why?

all these years, i can still clearly remember what happened.
what happened at the party.
mom to friend : hello, this is my daughter[younger sis]
friend: oh ya, pretty like you, sure can tell.
mom to friend:this is also my daughter[ me]
friend: you sure this is your daughter ? don't look like you leh. [ i'm sure you know what she meant]
mom begins laughing.

seriously, i got so used to all these, very used to. i know i'm not pretty enough to be your daughter. i know... but all these passer-by remarks, you can stilll laugh at them and joke about it.
have you ever thought about defending me? no. because its a praise to you and your daughter.

i know that i'm ugly.[ talk about self- confidence]

your son is a frikkin ah beng and you still defend him. I worked so hard, behaved myself, but i never got praised, but you will make use of this to show-off...my daugther did well in her exams, she's a vice-head, but behind, you nvr praise me to me... you scold me day and night for not being a fantastic sister to your precious son and daughter.

and i know i'm not a fantastic grand daughter.
stop insulting me. stop making yourself sound likee i've been bullying you. you tell the whole world how bad a grand daughter i've been. but do you know all these insults you've been throwing me? you tell the whole world I talk on the phone with my 'boyfriend' you tell everyone i go out all day long with my ' boyfriend' but what are these? all crap. i dun even talk on the phone. not unless it's cristal. and i go out with so many people. why must you always make me sound so cheap. I've been living with this ok. you tell my father, you tell my aunties, you tell the whole world. you make my father scold me... I know you are going to ask him to throw me out. so, pls do... i cant stay a second longer...

free me from this misery.

when i went to OBS this march, i packed my bags, and you asked, why she pack bags? running away from home? run away with man is it?

you know what? although it was not said in chinese nor english, i understood...

continue to put me down. work harder women.[ my mother and paternal granmother]
i'll stay strong.